Got the wrong person!

Today after service class i went to 1U with my service uniform(waitress) to meet up with my mum. We went to the supermarket to get something. I was standing by the side of a cashier counter, while waiting for my mum to pay. Suddenly a uncle called from my back.. He said, excuse me, Miss.. may i ask.... ... MY FIRST WORD TO HIM... SORRY I DONT WORK HERE!!! i was standing at Beer display, it was a promo. for heineken beer.. Do i look like a ''BEER GIRL'' (say in cantonese) ??? my mum was laughing at me.. this was not the first time i get into this kinda of situation. there was one time i was wearing my college uniform with a blue blazer @sinma.. i was waiting for friends while they shop for things at that particular shop and out of a sudden, there's a lady on wheel chair calling me.. i was wondering why.. she said miss can u help me clip this on my hair for me.. i STONE for a moment.. i dont know how can i help her.. i was kind of lost and blur that time.. i was like.. errr... sorry.. i dont work here.. can u imagine those situation? it was kind of embrassing.. i was going for shopping and people misunderstood me as a worker there.. i went to purchase thing and ask for information at certain counter and there's people asking me.. where do u work? u having ur break now?? i told dem i was a student and i just finish my class, the promoter was kinda OPPS... .. i think i should not go out with my uniform specially to shopping centre.. X_x and the worst part is going out for lunch.. people would look at me and my friends in a weird way. In those people eyes i sense the thinking of 'whuts wrongs with those ppl wearing blazer comin to all this place, exp: mamak stall is the worst place to get into..

Scholarship

As days goes by, i dont know iszit that i'm thinking negative or what but i felt that my life is really getting worst day by day. Few months ago, i went to apply for merit scholarship in my college. I was called for interview by the bursary people and i went for it. Now... the result has finally came out. It's says in the letter.... ... [ We appreciate your application on the above scholarship and REGRET to inform you that your application is UNSUCCESSFUL. However, we encourage you to work harder and try again in the coming semester. We hope to see you continueing to strive for high academic performance as a student. Tq. ]. Wtf man?! When i receive this letter and what i heard from people that got the scholarship i was damn pist off.. not that i was angry that i didnt get this scholarship. It's that i felt i was cheated. It's really a waste of time for me to go for the interview because they just ask me a few stupid questions while i have to wait for damn long to get in the interview. I heard from a senior which also went for the same interview as me.. he was awarded and get 30% deduction on the next semester fees BUT he complained about it bacause come of friends of his got 40%.. anyway, that was not the main point. It's because the next semester he would be going for training and the scholarship could not be use, transfer to other people or cash. So it's meaningless though he got the scholarship. According to him, if he really want to get full use of the scholarship, he would need to continue his studies after training which is Degree.. In conclusion what i wanted to say is that the college is very brilliant. They did not give to the right person at the right time. Maybe that's the main point here.. DISSAPOINTED!

My day in college..

Today is just like every others normal day i go through this past few months. I go college, sat in class and come home. Before this i try to stick around among my classmates and it get myself irritated and i tell myself off not to do it anymore. There's thousand of people passing by me in college, my class is huge, there's plenty of people going around me but for me i just like i'm the only person in my own world.. i just go to college to attend class and do my job, just like workin in a restaurant on thurs as a waitress and workin in the kitchen on tuesday as a cook.. just my task and job responsiblity for the day. All these years i make myself not exist at home and now i have to do it in college also. Maybe it's really my wisg and i want it to be that way. As days goes by everything that happened to me, all the treats that i got from people just showing me that they will only come to me when they need help. I'm trying to tell myself that it's OK. i'm fine with it as i felt happy when i get to help out... For now what i can do is just try to get myself suit with it, because i cant change people metality.. Just hopping that days would be better in future..

Russian Salads

This week during kitchen class, i was in charge to make the russian salads. it comprises of peas, patatoes, carrot, shallot and there was an additional 'special' meat that was added in last min. At first when i was told to put that 'thing' in, i thought the lecturer was just joking with me.. How could a tranning restaurant cook all this kinda stuff.. guess what? it was rabbit meat.. And the lecturer really meant it.. For some people , it might not be anything, and its comment to eat it.. but for me.. how could u eat such a cute little creature.. And the worst things is i have to peel all d meat out to serve.. i dont even dare to touch a fish and now i have to tear piece by piece of the rabbit meat out!! How gross!! It was hard for me to do it.. my hand shiver and i was freak out.. it was disguisting but i dont have a choice but to do so.. Because i'm a student, i need to listen to order. while i was doing it, i keep tell myself chicken, chicken, CHICKEN! i was tryin to hypnotize myself.. i close my eyes and try to tear it into pieces as i dont even dare to look at it. I even ask the lecturer weather we could change the rabbit to chicken meat, but he said. NO chicken in my kitchen! something like that.. X_x He also said, you should be thankful that this is not CAT.. wtf?!! actually this rabbit was not list in the recipe but he just add it in last min as he like.. how disorganise! maybe he jz like to give suprises.. but i was the innocent 1 that day! Of all people, why ME???

Blood Donation

There a blood donation held in my college today. Some of my classmates went to donate blood.. All this while i wanted to donate but i was too afraid.. Afraid of needles, pain , etc... Arrr.... Can't stand it, just not brave enough! At a moment while i was looking at my friends going through the process i suddenly felt dizzy and kinda like going to black out, out of a sudden.. i have cold sweats and i could hardly see anything.. Everything was like spinning, it was blur. I dont know why but i can say its not because i was freak out looking at packs of blood flowing and huge needles.. i reli wonder if i'm too weak... cause of pressure? too much stress that i'm facing these days, pushing myself to hard till i can hardly breath? i really had no idea what am i doing and facing in my life..

Starting a blog?

i have no idea why i suddenly wana start a blog.. mayb because i'm tryin to get isolate in this freaking world.. i dont feel like talkin to ppl anymore.. it's soo hard for me.. i feel soo depressed recently.. i dont knw whuts wrong wit me , my life! i get frustrated easily when i talk to ppl.. i start to hate de ppl around me, even hate myself more.. i reli goin crazy now days.. i felt that there no place that i can go.. i dont belong to this world. i hate home, hate college, hate my work. Everything seems like a problem to me.. Everything that are around me, in my life doesn't seems rite to me at all.. i dont knw why do i have dis kind of feeling.. but i jz cant control myself. i dont knw whut to do.. dont knw who to talk to.. ppl jz think tat i'm crazy and emo..